Sportpesa Chronicles

Curiosity killed the cat. Wrong.

Curiosity taught the cat a lesson. Right.

When everyone was talking about the World Cup, guess what I was talking about…. thee World Cup. Let me share a little experience I had with you.

Well, I have less than 200 friends. 70% of these friends bet on Sportpesa, Betway, Betin and the rest of that family. According to them, 70% of the times they place bets on these betting apps, they win – and I have seen them with money (cashflow). On Friday nights, Tony will occasionally call me up and force me to get out of my sq in South B into an Uber destined for Westie or Ngong road. That is usually the start of a very long drunk night, that will often spill to the next day. Tony will then assure me of ‘mad fun’ because kina Sharon, Stacy, Eve and Carole will be there.

I cannot refuse this cup of temptation that has been presented in front of me. Memories of last weekend have already crowded my mind and the decision to go I made ages ago. However, I do not have any money. I have no money for the Uber. I do not have a cent for a pint of whiskey for myself, let alone these equally broke ass slay queens who will ‘entertain us’, and God forbid that we are arrested in the night by our corrupt-to-the-bone cops (you know what happens). So I tell Tony of my predicament – which is very ironical since I am the only one with a day job among my friends that pays me a few good cents at the end of every month. He will laugh hard considering that it is barely the 10th of this new month and yet I claim to be this broke. Still, he will insist that I join him and casually say, “weeh usijali, come nitasort. Bills on me.”

Aside from paying the drunk bills, Tony will have a pair of new sneakers on, new pieces of apparel covering his body that smells of an equally new perfume. On his hand will be a new phone (for the second time in barely 3 months) and a new wrist watch. Man I feel out of place with my faded denim jeans and rubber shoes!

***

When the 15th hits and I am as dry as rock in the Kalahari, though I feel embarrassed, I will phone Tony and he will sort me that 2k that I desperately need.

Tony and co are serial ‘betters’. They are always on their phones and laptops not sending emails, chatting or making calls. Instead, they are deeply immersed in the art of analysing teams, so that when they place bets, they are almost certain that they will win. I can tell you that based on how I have seen their lifestyle, they win big.

Back to my case.

After seeing their successes, I was convinced that they have made it in life. I wanted to be like them. I desired to splash money and live fancy lives, just like them. So one evening, I called Nancy, one of my friends,  and asked her to familiarise me with these apps and how they work. We spent an entire evening on Sportpesa, Betin and Betway. She told me the do’s and dont’s, and a few more tips here and there that were meant to assure me of success. I was excited. I could not stop imagining myself a winner.

By the time she was leaving, I felt that I was knowledgeable enough to start betting. The following day I woke up with a strategy. I wanted two things; (a) To make a lot of money, (b) To not loose any money, (c) To beat my friends in their own game. So, I quickly accessed by banks and transferred 120k to my Safaricom line and another 120k to my equitel line. If you think I am crazy, be calm, Oliver had a plan.

I understood that for me to win, I had to first create accounts. So, I created a total of 6 accounts in all the 3 sites, Sportpesa, Betin and Betway, and remember that I had 2 mobile lines. So, each mobile line (Safaricom and Airtel) had an account in the 3 sites, and hence 6 accounts. Having loaded 60k in each of the accounts, I was now ready to do this.

I was also well aware that we were in the World Cup season, and luckily, the quarter finals stage. This was interesting because there had to be a winner at the end of the 4 matches for 4 teams to proceed to the semis. This eliminated the draw factor, enhancing my chances. I went ahead to check the odds for the matches between Uruguay & France, and Brazil and Belgium. Nancy had asked me to be observant because betting companies often put the highest odds to the most unlikely teams and lowest odds for the most favourite teams. At the time of placing my bet, Uruguay had higher odds than France while Belgium had higher odds than Brazil.

Personally, I favoured France to prevail over Uruguay (and eventually win the WC), and Brazil (who were sadly knocked out) to win over Belgium. So I placed bets on the two possible chances, winning and losing. On my Safaricom line, I staked 20k on Sportpesa that France will win, another 20k on Betin that France will win and another 20k on Betway that France will win. That is 60k that France will win on all the 3 sites.

Then, on my Equitel line, I did the same, this time on Uruguay to win. So, I staked 20k that Uruguay will win on Sportpesa, 20k that Uruguay will win on Betin and 20k that Uruguay will win on Betway. That is a total of 60k that Uruguay will win.

I did the same for the Brazil vs Belgium game.

At the end of the day, I had the following;

A. France vs Uruguay:-

• 60k that France will win on all the 3 sites.
• 60k that Uruguay will win on all the 3 sites.

B. Brasil vs Belgium:-

• 60k that Brazil will win on all the 3 sites.
• 60k that Belgium will win on all the 3 sites.

Total amount staked:-

60+60+60+60 = 240k!

I was damn serious about this decision. I was super determined because, I stood a chance of making 116k clean, unworked for money, just overnight! 116k my friend! What wouldn’t you do?!

I finished placing the bets, all I had to do was now wait. Excitement would not allow me to keep the experience to myself so I anxiously whispered to my colleague (Tali) about it. After explaining my logic, she was as excited as she was shocked. She was of the opinion that it was too well thought out, and that it seemed too easy to beat the system. According to her, something was not entirely right somewhere. I could see her thinking hard about this.

“Ah, this is one of those people who never want to see other people prosper.” I thought to myself as I prepared to ignore her. Then, she asked the million dollar question. “Wait Oliver, so is this bet valid for only 90 minutes or is it valid even after extra time and even penalties? ” I felt my gut dissolve in my abdomen. I did not know the answer to this question, and the feeling I was having about it’s possible answer was not a good one.

I frantically skimmed through the terms and conditions for all the sites and found the answers I had feared for. A bet is only valid for 90 minutes, and once a bet is placed, it cannot be reversed. Only Sportpesa allows for a reversal, but only within 10 minutes of placing the bet.

I was devastated! I was going to loose 240K! My world was about to shatter and leave me falling in space. All that excitement had quickly turned into mixed feelings of nausea, diarrhoea, vomiting, headache and all sorts of nasty experiences.

The only strategy left now was hope. Hope that Either France or Uruguay, Brazil or Belgium would win within the 90 minutes. Tali did not utter another word. She was wise enough to know that I needed the silence.

Long story short…

Indeed the Heavens have ears and they do hear our plights. France and Belgium won games, thankfully within 90 normal football minutes. I have never been so lucky to escape such a precarious situation. Honestly, I continue to thank God. Instead of losing, I made a profit of 104k! Glory be to God.

Lessons learnt from my experience:

1. Always read the terms and conditions before you agree to anything. At least seek to understand it.
2. Do not shy away from taking risks.
3. Do not make a decision while excited, you will fuck up.
4. Talk to someone about any of your endeavour and seek an opinion.
5. Do not gamble my friends, seek certainty.
6. Hope is never a strategy.

…and finally, be willing to bet what you are willing to loose.

Now if you allow me, I have some money to spend!