There is something about a man who boils coffee beans instead of roasting them. There is something about coffee that is boiled from beans and coffee that is brewed from roast. There are things we say because we will be judged if we don’t say them. There are thoughts we harbour which would otherwise wind us up crucified if they came into the world.

There are men who actually boil coffee beans. Men who do not fear crucifixion because they live in the 21st century – which to them means they can do or say whatever they want. Men who write as they drink of the coffee beans they’ve boiled. Men like Oliver.

Oliver is not a psychopath. Far from it. He just doesn’t know how to talk to girls and whenever he does they laugh at him. So that is why he is often seen in his own presence, thinking about things that never make him any money, writing away his wonders of how it would feel like not be laughed at by people and sipping coffee he has boiled from coffee beans.

He likes to do things that help people sell their wares. He’s heard people who’ve gone to school call that marketing.