I can write, but I can’t write. I can type, but I cannot write. I am unable to construct a correct English sentence. Listen, I struggle to organize my thoughts and flow with them. That’s not it yet. You see, normal people can speak at least some English – you can hear it. I can also speak it very well – as in like me and William Shakespeare, same level. The only difference between the English I speak and Shakespeare’s is that mine is in my HEAD ONLY, and his, both HEAD and MOUTH.
From that paragraph, we can establish the following;
- I can’t write.
- I am unable to construct a series of sentences that are well organised and flow to tell a story.
- I have terrible spoken English.
- I have a little person inside my head, who knows how to write and speak, but only from in there. No one in the real world get to ever see or hear his works.
With the above derivations, you can easily tell that:
- Because I struggle to write, I don’t write at all. I shy away from writing because it embarrasses me.
- Since I do not know how to organise my thoughts nicely, I shy away from situations that force me to be organised in my thoughts. This then means, in essence, that I do not put my head into practice – or in short, I do not think!
- My mouth probably stinks because I dare not open it lest I humiliate myself. This makes me a quiet person, very conservative, but all for the wrong and embarrassing reasons.
- I struggle to fully express myself.
So now what?
I have learnt to love to tell stories. I love how stories have order and structure. They inspire me to write. In every story, there is a background, then the body and finally a conclusion to it. But I find myself in an awful position where no one clearly understands what I am trying to say – you know those situations where you are trying to explain something(to give a story) so simple to someone but words just escape you? or when you have the solution to a problem but you are afraid to share because your English is just pathetic? I figured that is important for me to identify these challenges and to admit that indeed they are true. Further, it was critical for me to find a way out of them. I have been brought up to understand that the world is competitive space, where survival is for the best fit. I want to succeed, but I cannot do it while hiding myself. I know that my voice should be heard and understood, and my words should make sense to anyone at any level.
I sought for help, and was advised to face my fears. That sounded easy on the ear but really, how do I do it? After troubling my mind enough over the issue, it occurred to me that if I want to know how to write, I have to write. There is no other way. The only way to conquer your fears is to actually face those fears.
That is how I arrived at blogging. I intend to use this and many more platforms to showcase my bad writing. I have taken it up upon myself to write a minimum of 3 blogs in a week of 5 days, and a minimum of 500 words in each post. For me, that’s a lot of writing! I do not want to be eliminated by nature so I have to brave on, to fight to be the best fit.
I hope this appeals to many like me who have fears and no idea how to conquer them. Do not be afraid to look foolish, it is the best way to learn. On the other side of fear lies success.